Football Talk: Cotton wool for Kris Commons, Zlatan's karate kick
International week. Where we wear hats on our feet and hamburgers eat people.
It is time to gear up to Scottish football’s monthly silly season – international week is upon us once more!
It’s that crazy, kooky nine days in the month when fans pick their favourite players and Football Manager-endorsed attacking formations then go tonto when Craig Levein picks his own side and leads them to a battling-draw-against-all-the-odds.
There a huge fitness boost for Levein contained within this very page.
There’s still a chunk of SPL action to reflect on and pore over (Pro Tip: every single goal, highlight and talking point can be found in glorious Technicolor video right here).
Get yourself In The Know (© The Internet) with the biggest stories in Scottish football this Monday.
Kris Commons is playing like a man possessed. After tormenting another defence at the weekend, his boss is going to tell the midfielder to put his feet up, run him a relaxing herbal bath and provide sensual foot rubs.
Nobody cares where Hibs are in the table, according to Pat. Tell the Hibs fans that.
The Dons boss has let slip one of the secrets of the trade – just tell your players to play like the best footballers in the world. Hey Presto! A formula for Win.
The Manager of the Month saw no hoodoo attached to his award, which he puts down to his squad’s attitude. And his Horn of Plenty approach to recruiting strikers.
Is that a Vote of Confidence, Charles? The Rangers boss is feeling enough heat as it is...
Mulgrew put his head in a cement mixer and came away feeling a touch woozy. You should have seen the other guy though.
Scotland full-back Danny Fox was given a hard time for heading to Stair Park on loan as a kid, in an interview that makes Davie Weir, Gary Naysmith and Duncan Ferguson sound like right meanies. (The Scottish Sun)
Outstanding news, universally welcomed. (The Daily Express)
You liked news. Now how about some expert opinion?
Thom Watt’s weekly surreal summary of events in the top league comes with a top reference to “ironing ghosts”.
An imploring, agreeable column from Stephen Halliday, summed up as roughly: “Dear Craig, please attack against Wales, lots of love, Scotland.”
Thundering opinion leader about the rather unpalatable goings-on down south. (The Observer)
We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve nodded in quiet agreement. Now get your peep holes round a quality finish from the one-and-only Zlatan.
This, by the way, wasn't worthy of a red card